What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

Please note: I'm sure you thought that because I blogged late, today's "blawg" entry would be twice as good (or at least one day more as good). Well, you were wrong. Be prepared to be disappointed.

The only thing I've ever really wanted to be when I grew up was a Lego Artist. As in, an artist that uses legos as a medium (see above). Contest: The first person to successfully name the painting (and artist) on whom the lego art is based wins some sort of yet to be determined fabulous prize or perhaps nothing but the glory of enjoying art. Yeah, probably nothing.

Over the course of my life, like most people unless you're just completely unmotivated, I've wanted to be a number of things:
veterinarian (vetoed because of spelling difficulties)
astronaut (math? science? what?, also is difficult to spell)
veterinarian/astronaut (in case NASA wanted to go back to using monkeys and dogs)
Broadway star
teacher (every bossy little girl goes through this phase... not that I was bossy or anything...)
lead singer for a famous band
doctor
movie star (of course)
detective (I would be great at the part where you suddenly put on sunglasses and stare thoughtfully away from the camera.)

Then, I got older and my ideal careers got... well... boring:
Marketing Director for a Performing Arts Center or Regional Theatre
Public Relations
Broadway Star

And now it's:
Lawyer

... sigh

However, my search for the perfect career has by no means ended now that I have ostensibly chosen a direction in life. I personally see no reason why I should choose a reasonable career when I have such a great future in Lego Art. I assume, I've never actually tried.

Here are some things I've wanted to be today:

Something Undercover
Okay, so up until just a few minutes ago, I thought the only undercover things you could be were like, famed British spies, international men of mystery, or police officers trying to break up things like, say, a prostitution ring involving a governor. But then today, I discovered that you can be an undercover fisherman! So that begs the all-important question: What else is undercover? What if the kind of mean and loud woman who makes the sandwiches at the Twisty Tree is undercover? How about the old man at Dirty Phil's? Maybe you even have an undercover roommate. In a world where information is at a premium, it is imminently foreseeable that everyone could have spies everywhere. Does crabby Twisty Tree lady secretly work for Subway, learning the secrets of the Kentucky Club panini? I warn you, readers, look at your friends and family more carefully. It doesn't really matter for what; it is my firm intention to become undercover...or maybe I already am.

A Writer for Saturday Night Live
You may say I have an inflated sense of my own comedic writing talents (especially while reading this terrible entry) but I say: have you seen it lately? can I really be worse?

President of the United States
It's a shame that after November, I will no longer have the opportunity to become the first woman president, but I still want to be president nonetheless. I have a number of really important platform issues and campaign promises such as women's rights, March Madness to be declared a national holiday with all offices and schools closed during games, amnesty for illegal immigrants (will likely still be an issue in 12 years when I am eligible to run), abolishment of term limits so I can be president forever, mandatory arts education in public schools, more free burrito days at Chipotle, and the list goes on and on and on. It might be a pipe dream, however, so at the very least Governor of Kentucky. Those guys can get away with anything.

Stranded on a Desert Isle
What I really want out of this: peace and quiet, a nice tan, an unlimited supply of non-legal books, and the ability to go swimming every day. The best way to accomplish this is probably survivable plane crash near a string of uninhabited islands. Or a storm arising on my three hour tour. Sidenote: What were they on a three hour tour of? Marginally habitable islands easily accessed by natives and crazy people but not by the Coast Guard?


But I'm pretty sure I will stick with Lego Artist, it's the only thing that seems very lucrative. And by lucrative, I of course mean waiting until I retire and relying on my pension after an undeniably brilliant but dull career as a lawyer.