Law School Prom

Please note: The picture on the right was used with the express consent of both Courtney Preston, owner of said picture and all around wonderful person, and Todd Allen, featured in said picture. The picture on the left is owned by myself and the express consent of my senior prom date was not received or even attempted. Mostly because, for the most part, I have no idea what happened to him or where he is.

Prom

Most people have terrible prom stories. Or at least most people I know. Because let's face it, if you're my friend now (especially you law school people), you might not have exactly been the coolest in High School. Kudos to you if you were, but I have the sneaking suspicion that most people are nodding vehemently right now. Fortunately, despite being very into Drama Club, and in AP classes, and the only girl on the Academic Team ("There's nothing cooler than being on the Academic Team from 3rd through 12th grade." - the wise Miss Langdon Ryan), I had the added delusion of thinking I was way cool. So, I'm not going to lie. My prom was awesome. I remember being seventeen and thinking that my prom was the most magical night of my life. And I guess that probably still stands, because I'm older and much more cynical now, so I'm sad to say I probably haven't had a night that would live up to my seventeen year-old concept of magic.

That depressing thought aside, I clearly totally bought into the whole "prom is the best night of your life" mentality, despite the fact that I would have thought you absurd if you said that to me at the time, and some of you are probably finding that absurd now. So fortunately for me, but most likely unfortunately for others, the Student Bar Association gave us the opportunity to relive our most painful/fantastic memories. But, how did it stack up? I'm sure this is a question you've all been struggling with since Saturday, or you in my cyberspace fan club have been nervously awaiting the answer to, so I will provide this- my all-inclusive guide to the difference between prom at 17 and prom at 23.

It is important to note that things are sort of fuzzy for me in places, either due to memory or tequila. Keep that in mind when you read my analysis. (I usually include this disclaimer on all my exam questions.)


Category #1: Date
High School- Jess Bradshaw. Jess was totally my boyfriend and I was way smitten. He was in a band and I thought he was very cool in that Chuck Taylors/video games kind of way. I mean, what girl doesn't consider herself lucky to have her prom date show up in a top hat with a cane? Right? .... RIGHT?

Law School- Todd, who is my very best law school friend. I know that a lot of you were vying for this honor, but I'm taking this opportunity to publicly announce to all my readers that Todd has won. That does not mean that I am not open to all sorts of gifts to try to influence my opinion. (Please note: Chris Whitfield, this does not excuse you from the guilt gifts you already owe me. If you wish to compete, you will need additional gifts.) In addition to being awesome, Todd is also a great dancer, hilarious for dinner conversation, and offered to drive.

Winner: Law School. Sorry Jess, but Todd is everything a great date should be. In fact, if Law School doesn't work out, he could probably start some sort of professional date business. Though, I think that's borderline illegal.


Category #2: Dinner
High School- I don't actually remember anything about this. I do have a number of pictures of things like Sweet and Low packet houses and all of us sitting around with spoons on our noses.

Law School- Vinaigrette gravy... incredibly dry chicken (but not the driest ever, says Todd) and on... a bed of beef? Though some people did have the other option: beef on a bed of chicken.

Winner: High School If I don't remember it, it obviously wasn't that bad. Law school prom food on the other hand...


Category #3: Dress
High School- My high school prom dress was blue, strapless, relatively non-descript. Langdon also pointed out that my hair is "so prom." Wow, Langdon, you're getting a lot of shoutouts today.

Law School- In reflecting on Saturday's pictures, my law school dress can pretty much be summed up in one word: boobs.

Winner: Law School Not only was the color better, but I definitely did not have the necessary um... uh... features to fill out my high school prom dress. Also, it bears mentioning, who the hell let high school me out of the house in that lipstick?


Category #4: Music
High School- Our High School Prom song was "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin. Now, "Take My Breath Away" came out in 1986 and I came out in 1984, so I don't have a lot of touching memories of the first go-round of this song. "Awww, I remember when this song was popular, I was in diapers!!!" No. I was not watching Top Gun, I was watching Sesame Street. To their credit though, it was right about the time that the Jessica Simpson version came out. So at least they didn't pick that.

Law School- I have a vague memory of certain songs, like the poorly organized Electric Slide (you'd think a room full of law students could figure out how to face the same direction) and the terribly complicated Cha Cha Slide (this should probably have been played earlier in the night when most people still knew their right from their left).

Winner: I feel there's really no clear winner of this category. Though, Honorable Mention will go to Law School because there was enough alcohol to actually entice me to back that thang up.


Category #5: The All-Important After Party
High School- A small anecdote bears mentioning, with the hope that neither of these people read my blawg, but it colors the analysis of this category. For several weeks my friend, we'll say Scott, had told us he was planning to break up with his girlfriend after prom. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, he meant IMMEDIATELY after prom. As in, in the car on the way to the Party. And then he chose the quintessential post-prom movie The Big Chill. To be sure, this definitely ruined the mood and we sat in mostly silence, either too depressed by the movie or made too uncomfortable by the glaring ex-girlfriend to do what we really wanted to do, which was of course make out. (To be fair, this end goal for the evening was clearly the same for both High School Prom and Law School Prom.)

Law School- Chinoe Pub. There is nothing like making friends with middle aged drunk people in a crowded bar at 2 in the morning while wearing prom dresses.

Winner: Law School. I obviously choose alcohol over drama, and karaoke over sadness.


Results:
I am understandably surprised to see that Law School nearly swept the categories. Must have been the friends. Certainly couldn't have been the influence of the open bar.


Please note: There is no category for drama. Law School would clearly win that as well.


Also, one final thing. Just because I blogged on Tuesday this week doesn't mean you should expect it regularly.