Time Management Lessons for Your Three Weeks of Freedom

or Some Thoughts on the Pointlessness of Boredom

Okay, so despite intense pressure from someone who I will not name (but merely say his or her name rhymes with Schmodd Schmallen), I have not "blogged" yet over this break. I have had some thoughts about entries, but mostly just about my cat since now that I'm just laying on the couch, I'm seeing a lot of him. But, seriously, who wants to be the loser who "blogs" about her cat? However, as I have worked dilligently at wasting time over the last week, I thought about my classmates and frankly, I am concerned. Some of them seem to be using this time to visit family and friends or do things they might have neglected over the last month or so. And, truly, I am disappointed. But then, it hit me. Perhaps they could benefit from my extreme wisdom in the area of totally squandering the only real time off we'll have until May. Maybe they simply do not realize it is possible to achieve a complete zen of laziness.

And so, my dear classmates and friends, I present to you my helpful scheduling suggestions for Christmas Break Time Management:

12:00 p.m. (noon)--- Day Begins. I like to start the day by seeing if anything is on tv, from the warm comfort of my bed. This hour of the day can also be spent continuing to sleep, or, if you're desperate, reading a book.

1:00 p.m. --- Finish watching this particular hour of whatever countdown special VH1 has on (or reading your book, but come on, let's be realistic), decide that not only did Baby Got Back deserve a higher spot on the list of greatest 90's songs than Vogue but that you're hungry, and head to the kitchen.

1-2:00 p.m. --- Make some sort of instant meal such as spaghetti-o's, a sandwich, a lunchable, or something that was leftover from a previous meal (such as pizza, or chinese takeout). While preparing what will undoubtedly be a culinary masterpiece, dance and sing a song from the countdown. When choosing the song, consider the options and go with what would be the most embarassing if your roommate, pet, and/or grandmother were to see you. I suggest, "I Want It That Way" Enjoy your meal on the couch, or for the overachievers, back in bed.

2- 3:00 p.m. --- Take a nap. It's important to really achieve the right ratio of sleep to wake during a break such as this. Think of it this way, in April, during your 9th straight hour studying CivPro in a basement carrel, you'll be glad you took the time to catch up on your sleep now. I like to think of it as an investment in the happiness of Future Anna.

3-5:00 p.m. --- Free Time. This is a flexible time that you can do with what you wish. Some suggestions: video games, computer games, movie, or rest of VH1 countdown. You may also choose to sleep during this time. Facebook is always an option of course, but a word of caution: 2 hours may not be enough time to grow tired of searching the profiles of friends, strangers, or underage girls (for some of you. I won't judge, but Chris Hansen is watching, and you certainly don't want to end up on Dateline.) If you choose Facebook, please do remember you are on a strict schedule of laziness and even if you haven't completed your last Scrabulous move by 5:00, there are other things to do.

5-5:10 p.m. --- Observe the general lack of cleanliness of your house, apartment, bunker, or luxury condominium. Decide to put off cleaning. Your Future Self can handle this. And anyway, he or she owes you for all the sleep you're banking for them.

5:10 - 6:00 p.m. --- Nap.

6:00 p.m. --- Awake to cell phone ringing. Decide to answer as it is one of your more motivated classmates/friends who is suggesting dinner plans. Be sure to ask them first why they're not reading this blog and following my strict instructions, then listen to their dinner plans. Briefly weigh what they have planned versus continuing the nap. But hey, if I've learned anything from Rally's, it's that you gotta eat. (that and, it's really awkward to go through the right side drive thru without a passenger) Reluctantly shower and become presentable.

7:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. --- Group Time Waste. Whether it is a long dinner, movie, several beers, some sort of televised sporting event, or simply laying on your friend's couch for these four hours, it is very important that nothing productive actually occur. This may prove difficult to accomplish, because a friend that is motivated enough to make dinner plans might not be a Time Waster and you might have to carry the team. But I have faith in you.

11:00 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. --- The Perfect Time for Facebook. Be sure to send me a "My Christmas Tree" virtual gift as a thank you for totally restructuring your life.

2:00 a.m. - 3:00 a.m. --- Infomercials. Try to find the "Bahamavention" commercial. It totally changed my life. But once you have determined that you really do not need a mop that cleans the ceiling all by itself, knives that chop through firemen poles, or a blender that can puree rocks, you should probably consider going to bed. I mean, at this point, it has been roughly nine hours since you last slept, and you have a duty. If you do not feel prepared at this point for bed, some other options for your time are Facebook (clearly), "blogging" or "blawging" (I have heard some people do this extremely late at night...), YouTube or Gimme Friction Baby.

12:00 p.m. --- Repeat.


***Please note that it is of course possible to replace the evening activities with drinking at a bar, but that is expensive and it really cuts down on your Facebook time. Your 3rd grade crush isn't just going to e-stalk herself, now is she?



What more is there to say but you're welcome.